Tuesday, 8 July 2014

How I deal with epilepsy

Okay guys this post is a little different to my usual posts, and is more serious, but I wanted to just have an open post on how I personally deal with being epileptic, daily struggles, and just clear up any misconceptions that most people have.

To start with I'm going to clear up the obvious misconceptions.
   Not all epileptic seizures are ones on the floor where you shake etc. There are many different types and        many people think that there is just one type.
   Not all seizures are caused by flashing lights

I actually started out with full on 'Tonic chronic seizures' (the ones on the floor) when I was 7 til I was around 10, I then moved on to having 'Absences' which is where I would go off into a sort of daydream zone for maybe a second or a little longer, either way it left me feeling confused afterwards and I'd feel lost. Then when I was 16 I started having Tonic chronic seizures again and am currently just over a month free of all types of seizures.

As a matter of fact my seizures aren't even caused by flashing lights, they do not effect me in the slightest. Doctors think that it is sleep deprivation, alcohol and stress that cause my seizures. Which being a teenager is the worst combination if I'm being totally honest.

Daily struggles
I have so many daily struggles, the first is that I have to always remember to take my tablets, I struggle so bad with this, I'm just forgetful but if I forget them who knows what happens. I'm actually on 10 tablets a day just for my epilepsy, which is a struggle in itself as the dosage and amount seems to change whenever I have a seizure, so I'll get used to what I need to take then bam its been mixed up again.

Next is that I seem to have lost a lot of independence. A normal nearly 18 year old doesn't have to worry about making sure you always have someone with you, even if it is just a simple walk to the shops, or being in the house alone. I understand that everyone around me just cares about me but its annoying that I can't walk around the corner on my own without someone having a breakdown.

I have since been diagnosed with depression and anxiety (a post about how I deal with those will be posted shortly) because of the tablets I'm on. My emotions are all over the place most of the time. And the general side effects from my combination of medication is insane, there's the weight gain, concentration problems, sleepiness and many more that I won't bore you with. But all of these alone stress me out which is annoying because its stress in the first place that leads me to have the seizures!!

How I deal with being epileptic

I make sure I take my tablets morning and night because I know the consequences if I don't. I try my hardest to avoid alcohol, but that is a struggle for me purely because I'm a teenager and the temptation is around me so much, and I feel like a freak as it is, I just want to feel normal for once. I make sure I get plenty of sleep (this does have advantages if I'm feeling being extra lazy!) I try not to get annoyed when people around me baby me, mainly because I know they care so much, but it is so frustrating because I just want to be like other girls my age out having fun.

I most of all try to keep a smile on, I hope that one day it will get even a little bit better and that I can relax more, but until then I'll just battle through.

Hope you enjoyed this, peace out

Justine xo

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